What Price Freedom

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the United States is
suffering a recession due to the current pandemic, and that the
economic output has dropped almost 5% in the first three months
of the year.  That is faster than anytime since 2007.  This signals
an end to the longest economic expansion - 126 months - on
record.  And as of today, over 30 million Americans have filed
for unemployment benefits since the beginning of March.

And this is just the beginning, because the first two months of the
years were not affected by the coronavirus, as the virus only began
to surge in March. Only then were the shutdowns beginning to affect
the economic outlook.  The second quarter will most probably show
that economic activity will likely drop at an unprecedented rate.  And
like ripples in a pond, unemployment is spreading out across the
economic sector.

Worse yet, economists project the GDP to drop to an annual rate of
30%, that is more than triple the drop that occurred in 2009.  So far,
Congress has passed more than $3 trillion in emergency relief and is
looking at another $1 trillion more.  This is in addition to the Federal
Reserve's trillions for lending and credit programs.  We are cranking
out money at an unprecedented rate.  But the Stock market is still
holding it's own.  Just more proof of its total disconnect to the
economy in general.

Some states are yielding to pressure from protesters and are beginning
to reopen non-essential businesses, while others are holding firm.  A bit
like having a no peeing section in the pool.  There has been no leveling
off of new cases or deaths from the virus, in fact many states are finding
more cases daily.  However, the Trump administration has said that the
increase in new cases is due to more testing.  Duh?  No, the number
of cases is not increasing with the tests, the tests are finding cases of
the virus that are already there.  It's like counting kittens in the dark,
if you turn on the light, you can see many more kittens, turning on the
light didn't increase the number of kittens in the room, it just allowed
you to count them more easily.

I can understand that people are frustrated, they are out of work and have
bills to pay. That one-time payment of $1200 won't go very far to pay the
mortgage and feed the kids.  What I don't understand is, that they would
risk the health and safety of those children to demand that the government
open up businesses so they can go back to work.  Yes, some governors may
yield to their demands, but believe me the virus will not.  The virus will not
go away because you want it to, because you are tired of staying home, and
you want your children back in school.  The virus will not back down from
your assault rifles or signs demanding it to go away.  It laughs at your chants
and the singing of the National Anthem.  It doesn't care if you say you have
freedom to do anything and go anywhere.   It will strike you down just the
same.

May I ask those of you who are demanding your right to do as you wish, when
you wish to do it?  Who are you fighting, the government or the coronavirus?
Do you think that just because you say you have rights, you should be able
to leave your house whenever you please, that you won't get sick and perhaps
die from an unseen and undetectable enemy?  An enemy that will seek you out
and follow you home to infect everyone you love and hold dear; your parents,
your spouse, your children.

You say your rights trump my fears, but your rights end when they begin to harm
other people, when what you want to do compromises the health and welfare of
the citizens in my state, I say enough!  Take your guns and your signs and go
home.  Hug your parents and your children and tell them that today you gave
up just a little of your freedom so that they could live.

                                                                                        I'm just sayin'

Some Thoughts on the New Normal

Today begins my eighth week of voluntary (?) lock-down, and
I do believe I am relatively sane, thought I would be a poor
judge of that.  I have been observing the required social
distancing guidelines of staying six feet apart from others,
however that does not mean we can't sit on the deck and
share a drink and a laugh.

This weekend I helped a friend with her Spring yard work.
I can't tell you how good it felt to get outside with a rake and
a shovel and do some honest work again, (blisters notwithstanding).
We got about half the yard done and I made her promise to call me
when she is going to finish the work.  It beats the heck out of walking
alone and lonely to get my required amount of daily exercise.

I got a notice in this morning's mail that the community garden is
open, and we may begin working the soil, all-be-it with a list of
caveats to keep everyone safe and prevent spreading the virus to
our fellow gardeners.  Of course, it came right on time to coincide
with two days of heavy rain.  But hopefully by the weekend I will
be able once again to grab a handful of warm earth and squeeze
it through my fingers to test it, and smell the glorious fragrance, and
the promise of a rich harvest to come. Never have I so looked forward
to getting down and dirty as I have this year.

This week I had to break down and go to the grocery store, not my
favorite thing to do in good times, and even less when garbed in face
mask and latex gloves.  The weather was warm enough for me to wear
just my hoodie and a tee.  I had my 'Bloomberg for President' shirt on as
it has long sleeves and it is fairly heavy-weight.  Emblazoned on the front
of the black shirt, in bright silver letters, it says: "New Year - New
President", my sentiments exactly.  Pushing my cart down the aisle,
I was met by a woman who gave me a thumbs up and said, "I like
your shirt".  A man, probably 10-15 feet ahead of us heard her
comment and turned to look.  He began walking back to us muttering
something, and as he was not wearing a mask, I asked him not to come
any closer.  He kept coming, and I asked him again, only louder this
time, not to come any closer.  He looked around and thought better of
it, and said in a very loud voice, "Stupid bitches!". I do think some folks
are not faring too well in this new normal.

I took my usual walk this morning, it takes me past our little park.  On a
beautiful day such as today, it would have been overrun with children of
all ages, on swings and teeter-totters, merry-go-rounds and bouncy rides.  The
air would have been filled with their laughter, what a joyous sound, the sound
of children laughing.  But the park was empty, not a soul, the silence was
deafening.  It is surreal, and I find it more than mildly disconcerting.  I
have a new great-grandson; he was born on January 17th.  I have yet to
see him, his big brother turned two last week, I sent a card and a check.
I didn't want to send something that couldn't be sanitized.  What a strange
world this has become.

What I wouldn't give right now to be able to go to my favorite gin joint
and have a beer and play a little pool or maybe a game or two of darts.
Just to laugh and take a kidding on my really bad aim; at least I never
hit a bystander as someone else did, not mentioning any names.  Funny
how somethings take on such importance when you are denied them.

I really miss my pickleball friends, by now we would be playing outside.
It might be a bit cold in the early morning, but once the sun is full up, it
warms up nicely.  We start our games at 6:45am, all grumbly and grouchy
until play starts and then we forget the early hour, shouting and laughing
our way through two and a half hours without realizing how much we
have exercised .  Then it is time for a stop at the coffee shop for a cuppa
and at least another two hours of gossip.  What a great way to start the day.

Please tell me when this is all over, those days will come again.  Tell me
traumatized children will laugh and play again or will they have lost some
of their innocence?  Tell me my great-grandchildren will still remember
me, when I have lost those precious brief first days when imprinting is
so important?  Will we have lost the hugs between old friends, the
handshakes between colleagues, the high-fives after a great game?
Will we always view each stranger, not as a potential friend, but as a
carrier of some dread disease?  When will we be able to stop sanitizing
everything we touch, stop washing our hands when all we did was sit
alone on the sofa, and when can we scratch our chin when it itches?
When can I ditch the mask and show the world my smile, and I will
smile, from ear to ear.  Some experts say never, I do hope they are wrong.

                                                    I'm just sayin'

He Doesn't Care About You, Don't be a Fool for Him

May I address those of you poor misguided people out there marching
around the capitol in Madison today?  I know you are hurting, but some
how you think you are the only ones who want this to be over.  I have
been confined to my home for seven weeks.  I long to go out and mingle
with my friends, have a drink, have a fish fry, but I also feel an obligation
to them to stay here.

I may not be hurting as financially as some of you are, but that is because
I live in a house that I can afford, drive a ten year-year old car that I can
afford.  I eat at home because I can make it cheaper and better for me when
I make my own lunch or dinner.  I make sure that at the end of the month
there is money to put away for a time like this.

I am not trying to tell you how to live your life, keep your $3000 a month
mortgage and that nice car that you will never see the title to, and all the toys
in your garage that are costing you 22% interest on your credit cards.  But do
not put my life in danger because you want to go back to work.

Do you really think that the governor is keeping you home because he wishes
to destroy the state that he has worked so hard for?  He has dedicated his life to
serving people, as a teacher, administrator, and superintendent.  He was born
in Wisconsin and was educated here.  His heart and his home are here.  And he
is here to save you from yourselves, and not just you, your families and
friends and neighbors.   Have you really thought about them?

And what about the police who must come out to your demonstration, do they
deserve to be infected and bring that home to their families?  So you don't care
about yourselves and your families, you have no right to put others at risk for
you foolishness.  These public servants, who have sworn to protect and defend,
have no choice but to respond to the unlawful demonstration that you are taking
part in.

And when you do get sick, what of the doctors and nurses who will care for you?
They will risk their lives for you, and how will you pay for that care?  You will
need the government to cover your hospital bill and, god forbid your funeral.  
This same government you show such casual disregard for now.  Do you really
think that your representative gives a damn about you, if you do, you are dumber
that I though.  This is the person who made you come out in a pandemic to cast
your vote, the vote that generations before you fought and died for.  For what??

You are being used, used by people whose only care is not your health and safety,
not your financial problems, but for their needs.  Tell me how they equate the
second and fourth amendment, that is if you even know the difference yourself?
Traveled lately?  When you get to the airport, do you subject yourself to being
X-Rayed, patted down, your luggage gone thru, do you surrender you bottle of
water, your too large tube of toothpaste?  And all because you are afraid of being
blown out of the sky.  Why don't you tell the TSA Agent to kiss off, you have rights?
Because that would be the end of your vacation, that's why.

Want to go to Canada for some great Muskie fishing?  Good luck getting out of
the country without a $120 passport, Where are your rights there?  And if you do
get out, better luck getting back in.  How about that speed limit sign?  In Germany
they don't have one, try telling the police officer that, when he hands you the
citation.  Yup, like they say, you rights end at my nose.  And you have no right to
jeopardize my health and safety.  So stay the hell home you moron!

                                                            I'm just sayin'

Notes From the Dining Room Table

Well I don't know about you, but all this drinking, dining and dancing
night after night has worn me to a frazzle.  It has been awhile since I
have sat down and seriously put pen to paper, or at least fingers to
keyboard.  I do have my actual work that I must do, I am secretary on
four boards of director and the mail must continue to flow.  But when I
contemplate putting my thoughts about the world situation down, I find
it so difficult.  I have been keeping up with my daily journal, but even that
has been hard.  I find going back and reading about the past five weeks
surreal.  Like it happened to someone else.  Wednesday, I begin week
number seven of this odyssey.  So for better or worse...

I do not understand the people who are gathering in protest against the
'safer at home' directive.  I have tried, but when someone says they
would rather die a horrid death of drowning in their own sputum, rather
than sheltering in their home it defies logic.  Is this the worse thing that
Americans have been asked to sacrifice?

What would have happened if your great-grandparents had said that during
the depression, or your grandparents has said that during the World Wars?
I remember ration books and coupons; I remember hating Spam but it
was the only meat you could get without that precious coupon.  Well calling
Spam meat, is a stretch, but still my parents said this is what it is.  They didn't
go out and demand their rights, because an American somewhere was dying
in a foreign land so that we had rights.

Don't you realize you are being used; you are merely pawns in a chess game
of political one-up-man ship.  The pawn is the first man to be sacrificed, the
little guy out front shielding the King.  Yes, little man with your big gun, you go
stand up against the United States government, and if you aren't mowed down,
you may stand trial for treason.  I hope I'm on the jury.

And this so called 'flu' named Covid-19 is not your mama's chest cold.  Covid-19
does kill by inflaming and clogging the tiny air sacs in the lungs, the alveoli,
and choking off the oxygen supply.  But that is not all this little virus does, it
also causes; acute kidney damage, neurological malfunctions, heart inflammation,
blood clots, intestinal damage, and liver problems.  There is increasing suspicion
that the virus is entering other cells besides the besides the lungs.  Some people
encounter what is called a 'cytokine storm', that is when your immune system goes
into hyper-drive and begins attacking healthy cells in your body.  If the virus enters
thru the nose, it can attack the olfactory nerve and cause a loss of smell and taste,
but it may also travel along the nerve endings to the central nervous system.  Then
some people experience confusion, low blood oxygen, and loss of consciousness.
Yup, it's a nasty litter critter, so little that a million can fit on the head of a pin.
Now do you want to put your mask and gloves on?

And while I am pondering these things, I am being bombarded by a bombastic
buffoon every evening, self-aggrandizing and denigrating  anyone with the
temerity who dare challenge his mastery of the war against this invisible enemy.
For ninety minutes or more, he holds forth castigating the latest number one on
his enemy list.  Who shall it be today; the press, China, the epidemiologists, the
WHO?  Everybody's wrong but him.  The ultimate showman, how many balls
can he keep in the air before  they begin to hit the ground?  Thankfully my TV
has an off button!!

But of all the things that keep me awake, there is one thing that stands head and
shoulders above the rest, though I don't know why.  I will probably be dead
before the reckoning comes due.

Congress and the President are getting close to an agreement on another
stimulus package.  Yup, another quarter of a trillion dollars in stimulus money.
What the heck, who was it said "a billion dollars here and a billion dollars there,
and pretty soon you're talking about big money"?  Everett Dirksen is spinning
in his grave.

 In 2007, the Federal Reserve's holdings were less than $1 trillion, after the
recession of 2008, the Fed's holdings topped the $2 trillion due to QE.  Today
because of the new policy of the Federal Reserve to buy up government and
other bonds, even junk, and to guarantee the stimulus funds the Fed's holdings
are at $6 trillion and growing daily.  There are those who say this is needed to
keep the economy from going into a depression.  But this kind of free money
has often preceded hyperinflation.

MMT, the Modern Money Theory, that used to be thought of as crack-pot
speculation is now the accepted norm across the industrial countries in the
world.  Major economies everywhere are cranking up the printing presses and
floating currency as fast as possible.  The MMT says we have to create as
much money as necessary to support the economy.  Why don't we ask
Venezuela, South Sudan and Zimbabwe how that worked out for them?

It appears that once QE is the norm, it is very hard to back away.  But I
believe we have gone well past ordinary quantitative easing, we are in
very dangerous waters, and the storm hasn't even arrived yet

                                                        I'm just sayin'

Some Days I Feel Like Rod Serling

"Of all the hardships a person has to face, none is more punishing than
the simple act of waiting."  from; A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled
Hosseini.

So many people around the world spent Easter without family and friends,
myself included.  For those of you who are religious, perhaps this was even
harder, as this is Christianity's holiest of holy days.  It is the affirmation of
life over death.  Church services in most of America were canceled or
televised. not the same. Perhaps you partook in one of the drive-up Masses,
again, no Easter bonnet required.  Did you see the sun rise?

It was also Passover season, the day of remembrance, when families gather
together, telling the story of how the angel of death passed over the homes
of the faithful.  From the youngest to the oldest, they eat the same meal
their people have eaten for centuries. And  remembering to set a place at
the table for Elijah.  The gatherings this year took place over Skype and
if Elijah came to the door, you couldn't let him in.

And in Islam the feast of Eid Al-Adha, marking the beginning of the Hajj.
Saudi Arabia was forced to cancel travel and accommodations for those
coming to Mecca.  For those who planned this for years, it is a fateful blow.
As the Quran says all people of faith must make the pilgrimage once in
their lifetime.  It is one of the five pillars.  What happens if that time never
comes again?

I remember Easter when I was a child.  In our house, there were only two
times a year when we got new shoes, Easter and back to school.  Easter
was more exciting because the shoes were a bit dressier, church, wedding
and funeral shoes they were.  I always wanted a pair of patent leather Mary
Janes with a silver buckle.  Never got 'em, mama said they weren't practical.
But at least the Easter shoes weren't the oxblood oxfords we wore to school.

My older sister always got a new dress, I got her refurbished dress from last
Easter.  Every year mama had to sew a ruffle on the hem, even though I was
five years younger, I was four inches taller.  My brother, being the only boy,
got a new shirt and new trousers and a bow tie to set it all off.  Mama would
take down the hat box and fluff, and poke, and punch until she was sure our
hats would serve for another year.  I'm sure we made quite a sight, all of us
marching off to church.

There were no baskets from the Easter Bunny at our house, I don't know why.
If the bunny ever did show up, papa would have shot him and mama would have
made hassenpfeffer out of him.  We did have a huge basket of food that was
blessed the day before; there were colored eggs, ham, kielbasa, pierogi, and s
lamb made out of butter.  One thing that never ceased to amaze me; mama left
a basket with green plastic grass and filled with colored eggs out on the dining
table for days until they were all eaten, and no one got food poison.

I remembered too, Easter with my children.  The two boys always got new slacks
and sport coats and new shoes, real shoes not athletic shoes, that always started a
big argument.  But the little princess, she got a beautiful dress, a new bonnet, and
Mary Janes, black patent leather with a silver buckle, like she cared.  Mama was
right, they aren't practical.  They scuffed something terrible and had to be polished
with Vaseline every Saturday.  The new dress went across the street to the neighbor's
daughter in three months, and the shoes didn't last until July.  The boys shoes only
made it to prom senior year and then into the donation bag.

Funny the things you think of sitting alone eating re-heated tuna casserole for
Easter dinner.  This is day 36 of my isolation, and there is really no end in
sight.  But Saturday two friends stopped by, not together you understand as
that would be verboten.  But with each one, I chatted over the railing on my
patio, mindful of the six-foot rule.  We laughed at how ridiculous the situation
was, and then swallowed a tear or two.  Later in the afternoon, I drove out to
see another friend, we laughed and talked in her front yard until it got too
cold to carry on.  She went in alone and I drove home alone.  But with all three
there were virtual hugs and blown kisses.  Not much but it would have to do
for now.

At noon on Sunday, Andrea Bocelli gave a performance at the Milan Cathedral.
The Cathedral was empty, it was just he and the organist, but he was singing to
the world.  At the end, Bocelli walked outside and sang Amazing Grace.  While
he sang all four verses, we were shown live shots of major cities; London, Rome,
Paris, New York.  The streets were devoid of people, no cars, no bicycles, nothing.
It was like they dropped the bomb and all the buildings were saved, but where
were the people? It was incredibly sad in a way, it only made me feel more alone.

We cannot begin to know how long this will take, no one has ever experienced this
before.  I know it will be longer for people like me, my age and other conditions
will keep me isolated longer, perhaps until they have a vaccine.  But I ask myself,
if this is the new normal, if I must give up my friends, my freedom, do I wish to
live like this?  Life must have some value, otherwise it is just existence.  How long
can someone live on memories?  Have we entered the Twilight Zone between life
and death?

                                                              I'm just sayin'

With Friends Like This...

America and Canada share the world's longest undefended border,
and have been allies, in good times and bad, for over two-hundred
years.  It wasn't always that way, few people remember their history
lesson recounting the 1813 invasion by 13,000 American troops that
invaded York the capitol of the Canada territory, now Toronto.  They
sacked and burned the city.  In retaliation, Canadian troops invaded
the United States, and sacked Washington D.C. and burned the
White House.  But let us leave bygones be bygones.

Today, at the western end of the U.S./ Canadian border, straddling
that exact border, between the cities of Blain WA. and Surrey BC,
and over looking the Pacific Ocean, there is a monument called the
Peace Arch.  It was dedicated in September of 1921.  On the American
side of the Arch, is the inscription: "Children of a common mother".
And on the Canadian side, is the inscription: "Brethren living together
in unity".  There are huge metal gates in the center of the Arch, on the
gates are the inscriptions: "May these gates never be closed" and 1814
Open one-hundred years 1914".

At the other side of the continent, some 3100 miles away is another border
marker between St. Stephen NB and Calais ME.  On that marker it reads:
"This unfortified boundary line should quicken the remembrance of the
more than a century old friendship between countries.  A lesson of peace
to all nations."

There are some of you, like me, who remember when travel between our
two countries was uninhibited.  Oh, you stopped at the crossing and the
smiling gentleman asked a few simple questions and then sent you on your
way.  But the hysteria of 9/11 changed all that.  The United States became
suspicious of everyone and the Commission that was formed after 9/11 said
we had to protect our borders.  So, as of 2004, anyone entering the United
States from Canada or Mexico must have a valid passport.  In retaliation,
Mexico and Canada demanded the same from the U.S.

Did we forget that it was Canada that accepted over 200 planes with over
6500 passengers that were diverted from landing in America after 9/11?  It
Canadians who opened their homes and their hearts, Canadians who
showed those stranded travelers the true meaning of compassion.  They
housed them, fed them and sent them home with hugs.

Good fences make good neighbors - as reiterated by Robert Frost in the
Mending Wall - became Americas watch word, and soon to be a reality
on our southern border, but I digress.  It is one thing to be leery of
strangers but quite another to be fearful of your neighbor.  And there is
one man in particular whose is fostering such suspicions, Peter Navarro.
Mr. Navarro, who is President Trumps trade advisor is well known, but
not well liked in Canada.  After a meeting there, several diplomats were said
to have wished Mr. Navarro would be '...sent off to Peru".  Though what they
had against Peru is not known.  But rather than having their wishes granted,
Navarro, an ultra-protectionist, has gained stature and influence with the
President.  Because of his reputation on Trumps team of advisors, he
remains Canadas public enemy number one.

Mr. Navarro - the driving force behind Trumps 'America First' policies - has,
along with his major trade responsibilities, been appointed policy coordinator
for the Defense Production Act.  His recent hostile act was using his defense
authority to try and prevent 3M  Corporation from exporting protective masks
to Canada for it's fight against the coronavirus.  The issue was resolved
following bitter complaints from Canada.

But that is not the last of it.  Navarro recently drafted an executive order that
allows him to use national security to limit imports of foreign medicines, raw
material, and vaccines.  This is reminiscent of what happened a few years ago
when he used the same security rational to justify imposing tariffs on Canadian
steel and aluminum.  It was Navarro who backed Trump on his withdrawal from
NAFTA.  Navarro, like Trump, could care less about any historical special
relationship with Canada.

It is the same Navarro who is now advocating the used of the anti-malaria drug,
hydroxychloroquine, and has been denounced by Dr. Fauci, Director of the National
Institute of Infectious Diseases.  It was Navarro who was behind the stationing of
troops near the Canadian border, which has now been discarded.   It was Navarro
who went on Fox News after the 2018 G7 Summit in Quebec to say of Justin
Trudeau; "...there is a special place in hell for any foreign leader that engages in
bad-faith diplomacy with President Donald J. Trump."

Despite all this rancor, Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, has maintained his
composure, though he has been asked by many how he will hit back at Trump.
Trudeau has repeatedly rejected the idea of retaliation.  He understands that
disrupting global supply chains will harm everyone.  The masks that the United
States withheld from Canada are made with a special wood pulp mix that comes
from a mill in Nanaimo BC, not 120 miles from the Peace Arch.

What Navarro and Trump do not realize is that there are nearly 1600 nurses who
live in Windsor Ont. and they cross the border everyday to work in hospitals in
Detroit, MI.  Detroit is an epicenter of a massive outbreak of Covid-19.  Detroit
has recorded almost as many deaths from the virus as all of Canada.  For example,
at Henry Ford Hospital, 40 percent of the nurses are Canadians.  Without them
the hospital could not function.  These brave health-care workers are risking their
lives and the safety of their families, to help a neighbor in need.  Why?  Because
that is what good neighbors do.

                                                   I'm just sayin'

SOS - Call All Boats

Captain D.J. Trump here: Captain's log - HMS Titanic

April 2, 1912 - went to see my new boat...it is huge, hugely, huge
I mean it is bigly big...biggest boat to sail ever...and new, it's brand
new...no one has ever seen a boat like this...you could get lost in
there...I mean BIG

April 4, 1912 - my boat is coming to Southampton, this thing...this
thing was made in Ireland...I'd feel better if it was made in Scotland,
my mother from Scotland, did I tell you that...good golf courses too,
I may look into buying one...but I'm sure those guys...those guys...
they know ships...they know good whiskey too

April 6, 1912 - Met the crew...what a bunch of guys...take a bow
guys...terrific guys, really great...they have a lot of nice things to
say about me too...doncha fellas...we're going to get along great,
they're a great bunch...stand up guys, take a bow

April 7, 1912 - This guy...I don't know, this guy's up top all
time...I don't know...he's got charts...I mean he's got charts
everywhere...big charts, the biggest, I don't know from these
charts...I'm a really smart guy, really intelligent, smart...
my uncle...my uncle he was in the navy...people say DJ,
they call me DJ, DJ you know more than these charts...a
lot more...I mean I have a feeling in my gut

April 8, 1912 - you know this boat...this ship, they call it a
ship...what do I know...is almost 900 feet long...that's what,
three football fields...not your football, my football...Red
Grange...you know Red Grange...he'd have a hell of a time
on this boat, ah ship...but I got people...people on this boat,
ah ship...they are top-shelf...the top...they don't get any bigger
and do you know why...because this is the best...that's why
they're here...I have the best...class, real class

April 9, 1912 - the guy with the charts...he's back with the
charts...he's talking icebergs...the only ice around here...
I tell him is in the drinks...there's always ice in the ocean
I tell him that...we should lock him below, huh...yea, lock
him up, lock him up...got a call from White Star...the are
the top you know...the number one...they said watch for the
ice...I'm on top of it

April 10, 1912 - off we go...we're shipping off...I'm up top
the chart guy, we got him locked up...gotta look smart...
no hat, can't wear a hat...this captain doesn't need a hat...
I spent 2 hours getting the hair just right...too windy out
here...these guys really know their stuff...these are top-notch
guys...I picked them myself...do I know how to pick'em...
people say that, DJ, they call me DJ, that DJ he can really
pick a crew...except for that chart guy...always with the
icebergs

April 11, 1912 - just two other stops to pick up more
passengers...I don't know these people...these people they
came across the border...they might be swimming across
I don't know...they don't speak English...the might be
murderers, thieves, rapists even...you don't know these days,
these days you have to be careful...watch everybody, they're
riff-raff

April 12, 1912 - took a stroll around the place today...you
can't believe these other folks...these folks know the best
when they see it...they say DJ, they call me DJ, I say call
me Captain...this boat, ah ship, has class...you can tell class
not too bad for an Irish boat

April 13, 1912 - the radioman, there's a radioman here.. is
that the best or what...the radioman says to me...excuse me
here...do you know I can call New York...New York from the
boat, ah ship...I can call Delmonico and get a table...anyway
the radioman tells me there are icebergs...hoax...people are
seeing icebergs, hoax....people are always seeing icebergs...
do you know we cruise at 39 knots, that's what again, I don't
know 40-45 miles an hour...how fast can an iceberg go

April 14, 1912 - damn, it's cold here, and I can't wear a hat,
no hat...it took me 3 hours to get this hair right...too much
wind, always the damn wind...took a walk around, not out-
side too damn cold outside...nice people...no riff-raff, the
riff-raff are all below...probably warmer there though...
we're ahead of schedule...should have waited to call
Delmonico...pretty dark outside can't see a thing...almost
twelve bells...what's with the bells, huh...just say midnight
what the hell was that noise, big noise, the biggest...what's
with the boat, ah ship, oh who cares boat, ship, ship, boat..
the boat stopped...we hit what...so what's a little ice...back
the boat up...what water...this boat can't sink...this is the best,
the best..I only pick the best

April 15, 1912 - what's with the boat, why is it tilting...water,
well start the damn pumps...do I have to do everything...we
have the best pumps here, number one pumps...only the best!
lifeboats, I suppose we can get the lifeboats...who does the
lifeboats...I hired some guy who does lifeboats...hey, that's a
hell of a band, catchy tune, what's the name of that tune...not
too good for dancing tho...I got this...what do you mean do
I take responsibility...no, I don't take responsibility...I didn't
build the boat...Andrews and those Irishmen they built the
boat..where the hell is he....where are the lifeboats...what do
you mean they're all gone...who counted those boats, he's fired,
no riff-raff up here...well all I have to say is if we saved 700
people, we did a hell of a job...great job...great job, everybody
stand up...everybody take a bow

                                                            I'm just sayin'.