Iowa, you've got to kidding

        When I was growing up in Chicago (it's been awhile), there was a joke,
        it went something like this:  What do you call two dead pigs and a
        tractor that won't start?  Answer: The Iowa State Fair!  Iowa was some
        mythical land like Oz.  Mother's would threaten their children by saying,
        "If you don't shut and go to sleep, the Boogeyman will come and take
        you to Iowa".  Well maybe that's a stretch.  But I was well into my
        twenties before I knew anyone from Iowa, an I lived less than 100 miles
        from there.  I don't think Iowans came to the big city on a regular basis.

        However on a cold day in February, (the third to be exact) 2020, Iowans
        of all persuasions will meet in church basements, town halls, and some
        farmer's living room and decide the fate of the Democratic Party.  Now
        I don't know about you, but I have as much in common with the average
        Iowan as I have with the average extraterrestrial.

        Iowa has a population of 3.15 million people, or about 57 people per
        square mile.  By comparison, the Chicago metropolitan area has 9.5
        million people, and more people in the average apartment building than
        than in a square mile of Iowa.  Get this, the largest metropolitan area
        in Iowa is...Omaha Nebraska.  And the demographic breakdown doesn't
        even come close to the nation as a whole.  Iowans are 91% white, 3%
        black, and 2% Asian, and the rest, a mix of races,  I've been to Iowa,
        where are they hiding that token black person?  Please don't tell me there
        aren't enough Hispanics to make a dent in the demographics.

        It's a fallacy that all Iowans are farmers, there is a large component of
        manufacturing these days, consisting of...food processing plants.  So
        if they don't grow it, they process it.

        Iowans tend to be politically and religiously conservative by nature.
        But they did recognize the LGBTQ as an entity that cannot be
        discriminated against.  They just don't think they have any in the state.

        But recently, I would say in the last twenty years, in August at four-year
        intervals, the population of the state swells considerately, as an influx
        of reporters descends upon the State Fair.  Why you ask?  Because
        candidates of every political persuasion, who are running for president,
        come to the fair to curry favor from these savvy, urbane, cosmopolitan,
        Iowans.  There's an oxymoron if there ever was one.  The candidates will
        look them in the eye and shake their hand, and tell them just how important
        they are, that they hold the fate on the nation in their hands.  And Iowans
        eat it up. And why not, with this carnival of clowns, comes money, lots of
        money.  And a chance for Iowa to bask in the attention of the entire nation.
        They are Cinderella at the ball, courted by every major newspaper and
        television station.  And they only have a short time before it all disappears,
        and then reappears briefly again in February.

        So, enjoy your time in the sun, Iowa, but don't tell me that you understand
        the problems of the country and which candidate can best solve them based
        on which one knew how to eat a loose meat sandwich.  Your fame
        will melt like your butter cow, and after the fairgrounds are deserted, the rest
        of us will have a few less decisions to make, thanks to your winnowing
        the field.  I just hope my favorite candidate is one who makes the cut.
        Because last time around you picked...Ted Cruz.   How did that work out
        for you?

        And, I really hate to point this out, but we go from Iowa to New Hampshire.
        Is this really the way to pick the best person to beat Trump?

         I'm just askin'.